When you're seeing your woman n*ked for the first time, the tendency is for curiosity to take the better part of you, but here are things you shouldn't say to her.
• No, I’m laughing at a thing I just remembered. No, I can’t tell you.
• You ever get a backache carrying those things around?
• Can you turn around? I’m trying to find a good angle for my mental spank bank.
• Is that a henna tattoo or a stretch mark?
• Why were you playing so hard to get?
• You have curves and cul-de-sacs.
• I’m fat too, don’t worry.
• Do you smell something funny?
• You remind me of my mother.
• Do you want to take a quick shower?
• I think it’s sexiest when you’re not quite all the way n*ked. It keeps the mystery alive.
• Your sister got the good ass.
• Oh. I thought you were going to look different.
• Are these fake? ‘Cause they feel fake.
• Just keep your arms up so they look perky.
• How many kids have you had?
• Have you lost weight? Because your tits look smaller.
• Have you gained weight? Because your tits look huge.
• You’re big in all the right places.
• Your nipples are different sizes. They’re sisters, not twins.
• I like the right boob better.
• Let me show you my puppets!
• How much?
• Well, no matter what, I’d still bang you.
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