8 Signs to know that your partner is cheating on you

Sometimes, people have reasons to be a little insecure in their relationships, and it’s hard to gauge whether you have a legitimate reason or are just being paranoid. So how can you get an idea if they’re cheating on you, without doing something as crazy as searching through their private messages and emails?

We consulted eHarmony’s blog, eH Advice, to get some answers.

1. Your partner is evasive and/or defensive

If your partner gets defensive when you ask them where they have been or what they’ve done with their day, or avoids answering questions either by changing the subject or giving a vague answer, chances are they may be hiding something.

2. Decreased libido

Obviously this symptom could have a variety of other reasons, as well – stress, hormones, health. For example, I had this same problem when I switched birth controls. However, if you’ve ruled out the usual options, cheating could be one.

3. They suddenly start accusing you of cheating

This could be a double-edged sword, because maybe they are just being as insecure as you may be being at that moment, for any number of reasons. However, if you both think the other may be cheating, I would suggest taking a closer look at why you both feel that way.

Anyway, eHarmony suggests that this could be a sign of cheating, because now that they are cheating, they are now more aware that you are capable of doing the same thing. They may also have an extremely guilty conscious.

4. Their past is too mysterious

If you have been with this person for months or years and you still know little to nothing about their past, family or friends, it is possible they are trying to keep you in the dark about something.

5. They know every member of the opposite sex within a short distance away from home

Depending on what kind of town you are referring to, this may not be a sign. For example, if you’re from a city where your graduating class was less than 50 students, it’s quite possible you just know most of your community. However, if you live in a place where you shouldn’t know every member of the opposite sex that comes along, and they somehow do, that may be a sign. Especially paired with some of the other signs.

I would use caution with this one, however. Some people are just that friendly, or get along better with the opposite sex than with their own.

6. Previously mentioned suspicious behavior is followed shortly by a sweet gesture

If they are cheating, they probably at least feel guilty about it. So if they start acting suspicious and then suddenly start showering you with gifts of compliments, that could be a sign that they feel bad for what they did and now they are trying to make up for it.

7. Your friends start dropping hints

Your friends, assuming they are good ones, will look out for your wellbeing. And they may be more perceptive when something is wrong than you are. After all, love is blind, right? If your friend mentions that something seems off in your relationship, you may want to consider their advice.

8. They are always working late

Again, this sign is best only used if pair with other signs, as some people are workaholics. However, having a job where you’re unexpectedly asked to stay late, pick up more hours or go away on business trips would make the perfect excuse to hide an affair.